I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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