About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
