just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
