a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize