If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
