JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need water and some morals
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
