so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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