He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
