Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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