And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
