would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
