he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
