Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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