Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
