I CAN MOONWALK!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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