I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
