i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
