Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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