ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
