I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
