fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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