yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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