the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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