Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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