Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
