you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
