So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
