Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
