I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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