do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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