Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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