I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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