you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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