shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
