The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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