the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
