you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
