It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
