I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
