if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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