school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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