I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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