Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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