turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
