wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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