Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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