I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
