your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
