How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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