This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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