Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize