I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
