But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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