It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
