You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
