Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Small penises have feelings too.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
