can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
