Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i came on her dog
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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