Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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