maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
