What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
