It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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