Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
