i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
