just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
