Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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