Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
