So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
