Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
