if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
