dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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