Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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